Although I wouldn't say 31 was my best year yet, I would say it was a refining year. A year in which I realized to depend on the Lord for my needs and to continue to seek and see what it looks like to serve and love selflessly (although I am far from perfect in these areas). God is so gracious and what a perfect way to end a hard year, with a beautiful baby boy. Lincoln is such a gift (all of our kids are), he is such a perfectly timed gift and reminder of God's grace in my life. The pregnancy with him was difficult and the wait was hard, but he was so worth it. I had so many ideas of how I thought his birth would go, but God's plans are always better. Yet another way I'm learning to trust his plans and see his grace.
I thought for sure I would go into labor in the middle of the night with Lincoln. There were even a few nights I woke up and thought we'd be leaving for the hospital. I had plans to be induced on October 24, then pushed it back to November 1, then pushed it back one last time to November 6. By God's grace I didn't need to be induced and was able to deliver naturally. We took the kids trick or treating on Halloween and I had a few contractions during that time. I thought for sure we wouldn't make it through the night. However I woke up the next morning at 6:30 very discouraged that I wasn't having a baby. I pulled myself out of bed at 6:45 and started reading my BSF notes for the day. In God's sovereignty this is what I read.
"Like Hannah, what have you prayed for but not
yet received? Has your wait turned into years? Perhaps
you also asked God for a child. Perhaps you pray to be
married, for more education, financial stability, career
advancement, healing from illness or even a specific
position serving God. Perhaps you have asked to be
released from some difficult relationship, like Hannah’s
experience with Peninnah. Suffering is real. Grief, despair
and depression come in waves that cannot be wished
away.
God does not always say “yes” to our pleading,
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but He always hears and lovingly answers His people
according to His perfect purposes.
When God’s ways are mysterious, we must rely on
what we know of His righteous character shown in the
Bible. Through every struggle, as you prayerfully depend
on Him, He will draw you closer, encourage you and
make you stronger.
God knows you, your longings,
your deepest needs and how best to respond.
God
promises never to abandon or forsake you.
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Will you
choose to hope in the Lord Himself, not in a dream,
person, desire or event?"I had been praying to have the baby earlier and was so discouraged every morning I woke up to no contractions and no baby. I was putting my hope in a situation and not in God. This was a perfect reminder to trust God's timing and his character. 15 minutes later I started having some more contractions. I woke Ben up and told him today might be the day, but also did not get my hopes up. He left for work and the morning went on as normal. Around 9:30 my contractions started to feel more real and I was thinking more and more that this was it. In my pride I wanted to sit at home, tell no one, and get through the fear and uncertainty alone, but I had a nudging to put my pride aside and call Elizabeth. She quickly came over, prayed for me and offered to walk with me while her daughter watched the kids to see if we could get things moving. We walked up and down the street a handful of times and when we headed back inside my contractions were coming every 5-7 minutes. I called my midwife and she told me to come in. So Ben came home and we peacefully left the house and drove to the hospital. By the time we got there my contractions started to get more intense. We walked up to our room and my water broke. What perfect timing! Timing that I couldn't have planned. We had a friend at our house to watch our kids, she didn't have to rush over in the middle of the night, we didn't have to leave our kids in a frenzy, we made it in time, AND I didn't have to be induced. It seriously could not have worked out more perfectly.
Once we got settled they hooked me up to monitor the baby for about and hour. I think I had 3 contractions in that hour, so discouraging. As soon as they were done around 1:00 we got up to walk. After walking quite a bit the contractions came faster and more intense. Little Lincoln was born at 3:00! Honestly the pushing and contractions were more intense than my other labors and I started to get thoughts going around my head like "I can't do this," and "Can't you just take him out for me?" How ridiculous of me. Once I calmed those thoughts I knew I had to focus on what was true so I repeated these things about God's character. God is creator-he created my body to be able to do this and he created Lincoln. God is sustainer-he will sustain me through this labor. God is the life giver-he has given Lincoln life. Those truths got me through labor and gave me the strength to give birth to a beautiful precious baby boy!
Lincoln Sage Arant
November 1, 2018 3:00pm
7lbs 6oz 19 inches
