Transparent in a Hard Transition

After 2 months I am still in the adjustment process of trying to figure out what it looks like to be doing ministry here in Glasgow, Scotland without a full time vocational job.  Every job I have ever had, previous to this one, has always been hands on, strictly laid out with measurable results.  I am finding it rather difficult to stay motivated and productive at times when I, first, lack measurable results, and second, lack human interaction outside of being with Dani all day.  That brings up another difficult part of the transition. 

While in Rochester, Dani and I started to get into a pretty good routine of seeing each other just enough not to feel deprived, but also not too much to the point where we were perpetually annoyed with each other.  Since we are now working together in ministry here in Glasgow, the latter problem has definitely surfaced in these first 2 months.  It's sort of ironic that in the first year of our marriage we never saw each other.  We had opposite schedules for basically the entire year!  I remember getting pretty frustrated at times that I barely got to see the women I married and love so very much.  Now coming full circle almost 4 years later we are confronted with the exact opposite "problem." Every...waking...hour...we are basically together.

What I am beginning to realize through reading the Word, reading this book called How People Change, and from godly counsel from our pastor here is that, how I am acting in certain situations is just a byproduct of what is already in my heart.  I'm beginning to realize that I don't need to look at my situation as the "problem" but I need to look at myself, my heart, and my motives for why I do what I do.

Even before our arrival here to Scotland, I believed that this year would be an amazing year for my relationship God and my relationship with Dani. There have been moments where I believe spiritual warfare has attacked that belief and tried to bring me down into a spirit of negativity and confusion, but God has always been faithful and will always be faithful. I believe that this year is going to really give us a chance to dig deeper into our relationship and help uproot any sinful behaviors and ways we relate to each other in an unhealthy way. I think I just need to stop resisting where I feel God working!

The Lord has, is, and will going great things in and through me.  Not out of any merit of my own, but the completely undeserving grace of God allows the Holy Spirit to dwell within me as a result of Jesus' death burial and resurrection.

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:5-8

PRAY:

• That God would continue to grow me into the man He wants me to be.

• That I would be a better husband to Dani

• That I would prepare diligently for fatherhood

• That I would have supernatural motivation to help the church in whatever way is needed, even if I am not use to the specifics of the job

• That Dani and I would be transparent with each other our struggles and better communicated with each other
  
• That I would not resist God as He chisels me more into His image, even if it hurts