Time to slow down

The past few weeks here in Glasgow have been a bit of a blur for me. Usually when things gets really busy that is when time flies and everything blurs together. However that is not the case here. Up until the first week of August life was pretty hectic. It was a busy season of ministry, but that season has been coming to an end (for me at least) and I find myself slowing down in all areas of life.

You could look at this two ways. The old me (well to be honest part of me is still like this) hates this! If you know anything about me, you will know that I hate to be bored and I love to keep busy. Sitting around watching movies all day or being stuck inside is not my ideal kind of day. I would much rather be working hard, being outside, being active, anything other than sitting around the house all day. I think at times I have become quite legalistic in terms of time and making the most of it, and I think God is trying to break me of that.

The past few weeks I have not had as much work to do as normal and likewise have not had much energy either. I guess being 38 weeks pregnant it is time to start slowing down. At first I had a really difficult time just laying low with not much on the agenda, in fact somedays I still do. Somedays I just want to go for a jog, or even a walk that doesn't leave me sore and out of breath. Just yesterday we walked to the hospital (about a mile and a half ) and walked home. The walk home was quite painful, but the hardest part of it all was that in my head I kept thinking this shouldn't be difficult, I ran a marathon last year, why can I not walk for 3 miles. And on Sunday I came down with a cold, which normally wouldn't slow me down, but this time it really knocked me out and left me on the couch all day.

I guess what I'm trying to say with all this is that slowing down is not a bad thing. I woke up this morning (quite late I might add) feeling as if God was saying to me, it is ok, slow down, don't feel guilty, rest is good. So many times in my life I become so legalistic that I end up feeling guilty for not being able to live up to the crazy standards I give myself. This is just one of the areas I do this in. This week I think God is really trying to change my heart, to help me realize I am being ridiculous and putting laws on my life that he didn't intend. The great thing is we have a loving God who not only shows us our sin, but offers forgiveness and peace when we repent. And that is what I feel. I feel as if I can leave this old way of life, the one of feeling guilty for not living up to crazy standards and have peace and freedom and REST in God. I can take time to relax without feeling lazy and sinful, knowing that God himself rested and expects us to do the same. I will continue to grow in this area and pray that I will learn to glorify God even in my rest. Plus in 2 weeks (or whenever baby decides to come) that might be the end of my rest for awhile;)

My resting chair, where Ben "makes" me rest:)

You are loved!